I hesitate to admit it, but I volunteered to have “the crew” over to spend the night after they trick-or-treat. No, I wasn’t talked into it, I just opened my mouth and the suggestion flew out one day as mythankfulboy and I were driving down the road. This will involve at least 7 boys under my roof after rowdy costume marauding and high candy intake. I live in a 2 bedroom ranch house that is not yet adequately put back together from our pumpkin party because my back has been out. What on earth was I thinking?
I was thinking that it would make B happy, and I am awfully prone to wanting to make that kid happy.
Tonight, at our chalice lighting, B asked me for what I was thankful before I was even in the groove. It was an easy one, though, because today I tried a medication for extreme sleepiness that actually worked. My stress level plummeted. Thank you, thank you! Then I asked B what he would raise up tonight, and he said “You”.
Now ,I fell into this trap a few nights ago when he was thankful that I buy him stuff, but tonight he went on to say, “You’re the best kind of mom. You do so much more than you have to for me. I don’t really know how to explain it – it’s like you just keep doing – I don’t know how to say it.” I offered, “I think there’s a phrase for what you’re trying to say, if I’m understanding you. It’s ‘going above and beyond the call of duty’ and it means just what you said – doing more than you have to do, or more than is expected.” He said, “Yeah. You’re not like other moms that way.”
I looked around the wicked messy house that wasn’t going to get much better before (and certainly not after!) the crew descended on Halloween, and I chuckled to myself. I was once what my mother would have called “house proud”. Things were in their places, their places were clean, and I was always involved in a project to make it all just a little more organized or quaint. You could drop by anytime and I wouldn’t have batted an eye because nothing would have been covered in a layer of dust or smelled of dog and boy, and my pantry would have been ready to create a homemade risotto in honor of the occasion. I had to make a conscious decision to let my house pride go in order to be in the moment with my boy – being a single parent and owning a business, there was just no other way I could see to do it.
How grateful I am that he noticed.