Mythankfulboy’s nerves are on edge with Christmas so close, not because he’s excited about the holiday, but because he doesn’t want to spend the whole thing at his dad’s house. He says he’s so bored he doesn’t know what to do. I do my best to support him in communicating this pleasantly to his father, and to help him approach his dad with suggestions, and I believe him when he says he’s tried and feels that nothing he can say makes a difference. It is hard to watch this struggle they have finding ways to be together sometimes. B wanted to talk about it when we lowered the lights and lit the chalice tonight.
The first indication I had that something was on his mind was when I began to quietly sing along to the Christmas music box and he wailed (truly, he wailed) “Mom – PLEASE! I don’t FEEL like singing right now!” I assured him that I was not trying to torture him, and wondered aloud why he said this in a tone suggesting I already had that information and had chosen to ignore it. He said, “Oh. I’m sorry. I just wanted you to stop. I didn’t mean it to come out that way.” So, I stopped, and I waited, and the rest spilled out.
We did a little problem-solving about his dad’s house, and he began to perk up as he got some things off his chest. Soon I noted that he was singing to the music box, so, naturally, I wailed “B – PLEASE! I don’t FEEL like singing right now!” He laughed, not having realized he was singing, and I laughed with him. Then I added, “I feel like buzzing!” and buzzed like a bee where the words should have gone. He feigned horror, so I switched to clucking, snoring, and, finally, bunny noises (if you don’t know what those are, see me about it) before I gave him a reprieve and asked him for what he was thankful. He said he was thankful for our house, and that it was a really good house (the unspoken thank you being to my father, for all his hard work on it). I was thankful for a lovely lunch today with my friend and business partner.
B broke heartily into song at this point. I joined him, we finished out God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen with gusto together, I turned off the music box and kissed his forehead, and I turned to go. B said his goodnight with, “I love you, Momma”, and I said, “And I, you, Darlin.”